I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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