Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
