I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
