a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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