Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
