Sponge bath it is.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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