That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Will exercising make me less horny?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
