I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
