It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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