@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
