i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
