apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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