I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
