i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
