i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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