so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize