Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
