I puked a lego.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
