I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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