yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
