wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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