I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
