This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
