a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
