dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
