Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
