Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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