he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
