i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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