he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
