we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize