Your tits are I can't wait for
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
