Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
