i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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