I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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