I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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