I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
