And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
