Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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