Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize