Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
