left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
