i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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