And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
