I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
