At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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