I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
