Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
