Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
