just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
