Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
