What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
