I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
you win again, gameday.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
