There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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