So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
