So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize