you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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