She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
